Blogging is Selfish

Before you take offense at the title, let me explain what I mean: blogging about our lives, from the minute to the drastic, is inherently selfish.

This is the conclusion I’ve come to after years of lurking, reading, and commenting on blogs of all types, and even after starting a few blogs of my own.

We write to show a part of us to the rest of the world simply for attention or to be acknowledged or to point to something we like and need to share.

I'm a wedding and event planner on the side.

Companies do it for the free marketing, celebrities do it for the publicity, and everyday people do it for the attention.

I right there with you – I do it too. I’ve written about my photos, how I revamp recipes, and my side-business planning weddings, and all are very selfish topics.

I want you to notice me and the cool things I can do.

I love food and cooking and feeding people.

And yes, this post is full of links and photos and I’m aware this makes me look just as selfish as the last blog you read.

But I’m not a hypocrite by writing it, and here’s why: There’s nothing wrong with being selfish.

That's me on the left. That gorgeous girl on the right is one of my treasured friends from college at my New Year's Eve party this year.

In fact, it’s human nature. Fallen, imperfect, grace-craving nature. It’s not bad to be selfish when you know how to both give and receive, each in their turn and in their time.

The point is not if you’re being selfish, but what you are trying to communicate to the people who read your blog.

At my grandmother's funeral (same dress as above).

I’d like you to compare the two photos above. That’s me, in the same dress, two weeks apart. The top one is for New Year’s Eve; the second is at my grandmother’s funeral.

In the first photo, we are celebrating a new year and a new beginning. And in the second, we were also celebrating a life full of memories and the hope of a new life beginning in Heaven.

I’ve already blogged about the NYE party; now it’s time for me to share what happened afterwards.

It has to do with this idea that telling people about ourselves is selfish.

I was faced with this fact long and hard after an impulsive decision to accompany my father on a 700+ mile roadtrip to be by his mother’s deathbed. I left my job (thank you, snow days and vacation) and my husband behind with the idea I would be back in a week.

It was two weeks from the time we arrived in a hoovering-around-freezing Florida until I returned to work after the funeral. During those two weeks, I couldn’t do it all. I had to tell people – gently – why I wasn’t there, how I was doing, and how they could help.

I had to be selfish which is NOT an easy thing to do for a type-A, people-pleasing, wanna-be-extrovert. I had to be willing for people to see me at my worst, and honest enough to let them help me.

What does this have to do with blogging? Everything.

What I aim to communicate on this blog is not to show you the latest thing to hit the internet. There are other platforms for that. (I’m looking at you, Pinterest.)

I want you to see me with all my scars, hurts, bumps, and bruises – I am not afraid of showing you that I am imperfect.

This is not selfishness the way we are taught. This is honesty, real life, and me showing you that it’s okay to be a little selfish if you’re communicating the right message. It’s about me, but it’s also about you.

Quote from Mother Teresa

This isn’t the end of the conversation – I want to hear from you and your thoughts on all of these things. I will leave you with this quote from Mother Teresa:

“People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people may accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you may win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People who really want help may attack you if you help them. Help them anyway. Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway.

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One thought on “Blogging is Selfish

  1. I’m having trouble finding the right words to say. Just know that I really, really enjoyed reading this and that I just kept saying “yes. yes. yes.” while reading your words. This resonates with me so much. I too have found it difficult to be selfish in times of need; I feel like I always need to put everyone else’s happiness etc above mine and being vulnerable is really freaking scary/hard.

    Like

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